Thank God for Beyoncé.
The Queen's return has me thinking about a few things, and I just had to let you know...
Like I mentioned last week, Beyonce's finally dropping new music and everyone's going crazy over it (as they should). After six years without a solo project, Act I RENAISSANCE is officially on its way and yes, I copped the Renaissance Box Set on her website (Pose 3). To prep us for her July 29 release date, Bey dropped a new single Monday night, 'BREAK MY SOUL'. It's got 90's pop, house music, and bounce vibes, perfect for dancing and the summertime. The lyrics champion the 9-to-5-ers and make you wanna leave the section in the club for the dancefloor.
So much of this song resonates with me (maybe more on this later), but what she says here really resonated with me:
We go round in circles, round in circles
Searching for love.
We go up and down, lost and found
Searching for love.
Looking for something that lives inside me...
I've hidden myself away for so long. I'd love to blame it solely on the pandemic, but I know I play a big part in my own isolation. I do it to protect myself from the harm and rejection of the world, but I end up doing harm to myself in the process. In the end, I'm the one who ends up broken—broken in my esteem, body, my spirit. Some part of me thinks that I'll find the answers in isolation, or that they'll somehow come to me in the midst of solitude. So I isolate, do more harm, and the cycle continues.
But these lyrics serve as a reminder that not all growth can happen alone. I've isolated due to the fear of being rejected by people I care about, as if they'll deny me their love or acceptance. But the whole time, I only truly need love and acceptance from myself. And that's the issue: I love and accept myself, but have room to do better for my own sake. I'm not there yet, but I can get there, and I will, because I am reminded that this love is already within me.
I won't let this world break me. I don't have to shut myself off from the world to eliminate all possibility of this happening. Instead, I can choose to show up as myself in this world, assured enough in who I am to be unmoved by the ills and negative energy that try to crush my spirit. Taking up space is enough. Being present is enough. Loving myself is enough. I am enough!
Bey has helped remind me of who I am, and now a return is necessary. And I'm tellin' everybody.
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