As a society, we thrive off of how we're viewed, who notices us, and how many "likes" we can get on Instagram. The thing is, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. We're human beings, and sometimes humans need encouragement, reassurance, and acknowledgement.There's nothing wrong with outside validation, as long as it isn't the determining factor for how we feel about ourselves.
That's where the problem comes in: we've made things like social media, society, and public perception the determining factor.
I mean, how could we not? We're practically glued to our phones every day because this world no longer supports an efficient, everyday life that's sustainable without technology.
We're connected to everyone at all times of the day. Everything good, bad, and in between is being consumed by us in ways that are damn near immeasurable. And even away from media, we worry about how we are perceived by our peers, our employers, our friends, and loved ones. I even find myself worrying about my appearance or demeanor when around fellow pedestrians while out and about, worried that they'll discover one of my flaws and become fixated on them, making me uncomfortable with their glaring eyes, etc. And before you know it, I'm worried about what others think about me, no matter what that might be, instead of focusing on myself and the things that I know to be true: that even on my off days, I'm hella fly, hella dope, and magical in ways that I'll never know.
Because of this, I've decided to use this opportunity to big-up myself. I want to give myself the flowers I deserve, rather than waiting for someone else to determine and acknowledge my worth. So I'm here today to give myself some flowers, and I encourage you to do the same for yourself as you read along. Here are four bouquets-worth of flowers for the following:
1. I'm Doing The Damn Thing!
Life get's rough, y'all. I've been going through it and I'm certain you have as well. But when was the last time we told ourselves 'good job'? When did we last acknowledge that we are brave for hanging in there? We owe it to ourselves to let ourselves know our capabilities do not diminish just because we happen to find ourselves in a bind. So let me just say this to myself:
"Girl you DID that! You are DOING that! You WILL do that!"
Say whatever you need to say to yourself to uplift you in the way you need.
2. I'm Doing My Best!
The world prides itself in not giving out "participation trophies" for those who haven't won first place (or haven't won anything, for that matter). And while there's much debate regarding whether or not participation trophies hinder or help us as a generation and as a society, I truly think it's important to give our own selves said participation trophies. It's important to pat ourselves on the back for trying, for making the effort, for going the extra mile, and even for coming up short. The world certainly doesn't care about how we feel, so it's our jobs to care about how we see ourselves: as capable human beings striving to be our best every day, even when our best isn't always enough. So I'll say this to myself:
"You're trying. Sooo hard. Yet, life always finds a way to get harder. Don't give up. The fact that you're faced with so much and STILL find a way to get out of bed, STILL find a way to handle your business, shows that the hope that lives inside of you may be weary, but it refuses to be extinguished. You're here; that's all that matters."
3. The GROWTH!
I'm nowhere where I need/want to be. I'm lacking in many ways and often times I get on my own last nerve. But guess what? I'm FAR from who I used to be. It's beyond important to acknowledge our growth as we go. We get so caught up in the next steps, our next moves and ambitions, that we forget to take a second to ground ourselves in the present and appreciate everything it took for us to get to where we are. I'm still learning to be content and find peace in my life no matter what the circumstances. I've traveled long and far, and that's to be acknowledged:
"You started out in the valley, and though the journey has been long and hard, take comfort in the view, girl! Look at all the ground you've covered. Look at the mountains you've moved, the land you've claimed, how high you've climbed. Don't ever forget where you come from; it will serve as a reminder for how far you've come."
4. You Deserve!
I'm a human being. You're a human being. We are beings who each deserve love, comfort, autonomy, humanity. We deserve this from ourselves most. Not everyone is capable of seeing our greatness or possibilities or our human qualities. Sometimes, affirming this in ourselves is the only way, the most genuine way to receive our flowers. We deserve, even when no one else has flowers to give. We deserve to be happy and proud of the people we are. Lastly, to my self, I say this:
"You are worthy, girl. Even on days you don't fee like it. You are worthy. You always have been. Now walk in this truth, your truth. You deserve the best, from others and from yourself, and that's just what you're gonna get."
Your bouquet is waiting on you, so what are you waiting for? Go pick your flowers and nurture them the way they deserve to be nurtured; the way you deserve to be nurtured.
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