I have a lot of fun with y'all on social media. I really do. BUT...
The whole thing is chaos, let's be real. Social media is a great place to connect and reconnect with others, but what exactly are we connecting with? We have all of this access to each other and yet still only scratch the surface. We see what others want or allow us to see—the good, the bad, and the ugly.
There's no controlling what we see, either. It's random and scattered and can even be a bit jarring. One minute you're innocently scrolling through cat videos, then the next moment you're encountering videos of a shooting or something gross or something you really weren't expecting to see during your random morning scroll. It's 2019 and unfortunately for us, people will put anything on the internet.
I only bring this up become I've come to encounter this a lot with time. I've noticed that the more access I have to the rest of the world, the more energy is drained from me, overall. It's hard enough trying to navigate my own mood on the day-to-day. It becomes even more difficult when I add in everyone else's moods and circumstances as well. Someone's baby daddy is always actin up, someone's girl friend finally left, a beloved family member passed away, people get sick, cry, fight all day long. It can be a super downer to encounter the worst parts of people while trying to catch up on the best parts of our societies.
And that's just when it comes social media. The news in and of itself is an entirely different monster all together—ongoing humanitarian crises, a world filled with waste from human toxicity, the never-ending show put on by The Orange One (you can guess who that is). Put the news and social media together and you have one hell of an engine designed to ruin your mood and alter your day at the click of a button.
For this reason and many more, I've decided to get serious about limiting my time on the web. I realize that I'm responsible for me, and I can't be as responsible as I'd like to be when I'm allowing so many negative things to bombard me from all angles. I don't wanna just cut off my access entirely. I mean, I kinda need social media when it comes to promoting my brand and keeping up with the times. I just don't want it to have as big a hold on me like it does now.
But instead of simply talking a good game, I wanna be 'bout it by creating a plan and sticking with it. Some things I have already begun to work, and other things I have yet to tackle, but I wanna make it clear that I'm serious and I plan to move with intention when it comes to what and whom is granted access to my space.
Here's how it's gonna go:
1. Lights Out Time
I've decided to "quit" social media (or anything media) after a certain hour before bed. Because we can't always control or predict what we'll see on the internet, it doesn't benefit us to scroll as we doze off, especially when something troubling or disturbing could pop up at any time. It's practically like watching a scary movie before you go to bed: you're bound to have nightmares or get caught up in the eerie fog of fear and paranoia left behind by that movie. Why open myself up to that, ya know? For me, Lights Out is at 11 p.m., but honestly I might change it to something earlier, like 9:30 p.m. or 10 p.m. That way, my brain has more time to wind down and I can sleep more peacefully.
2. The Second Homescreen
To limit my time on social media, I moved all of my media apps to a second homescreen on my phone. That way, it's not the first thing I see or think about when I pick up my phone. This method has actually been pretty helpful for me because it forces me to put in extra effort to get to social media, makes me think about it as I do it, and gives me time to contemplate and change my mind. Honestly, if it were up to me, I'd just delete all of my social media apps from my phone and only visit these sites while on desktop or PC, but I need the immediacy for business purposes. It just makes these things slightly more inaccessible. That way, I go to it because I want to, not because it's a force of habit or knee-jerk reaction.
3. Mindfulness (for scrolling)
Mindfulness is a method of meditation where you practice letting thoughts/feelings/emotions pass through, simply observing them, and letting them go. This really can apply to many things in life, but this practice is actually super helpful when dealing with social media. We're literally scrolling through a stream of thoughts and images, letting them come and letting them go. But sometimes, depending on the thought or image, we can get caught up, fixated on this one thing and consumed with everything else that interacts with it. That's what makes navigating social media so difficult: you never know what'll get you caught up. So, I use mindfulness as a way to practice limited interaction with posts on these sites. I sometimes have to tell myself, "you know what? That's not my business" or "protect your peace" to make sure I stay away from the things that upset, bother, or trigger me. I just let it pass on by, keep scrolling, and go about my day.
and speaking of peace, lastly...
4. Protecting My Peace
At the end of the day, only I can decide who or what will be allowed to alter my mood. Sometimes deciding for yourself looks like logging off, deleting apps, or deleting accounts all together. Other times, deciding for yourself looks like putting your phone away at dinner or choosing to do something more exciting for a change. No matter what that decision is, make sure it's what's best for you, and what does the best job of protecting the balance you've created for yourself. Your peace is important; you're important. Make decisions that reflect that importance.
I know what's best for me: taking healthy time away, and being mindful of my time spent on the apps. I can enjoy things without having to cut them out completely. I'm not a perfect person, so I may not get these right the first go-'round, but it sure is worth the shot. I'm worth working on for as long as it takes.
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