Here lies the list of lies I tell myself, the things I feel when I'm either at my lowest or on my way there:
I'm not as good as the others.
My body isn't capable of keeping up.
This pandemic is gonna last forever.
I'm not talented enough to make my dreams actually happen.
My blemishes and scars make me ugly.
God is punishing me for my mistakes.
I have no idea what I'm doing.
I’m not doing enough.
I’m so stupid.
I’m alone.
I don't necessarily know why I find myself thinking unpleasant thoughts; I just know that they come, and if I don't make them go, they'll stay. I've been told that anxious thinking is actually a defense mechanism of the brain. Leading with caution and being on high alert helped people survive back when big animals with big teeth were everyone's neighbors. When I frame it this way, I realize that worry does seem to keep me out of harm's way; it convinces me to be careful. The problem is, though, that it also keeps me from the good things, too.
Sure, it's fine to feel anxious and be on guard when I'm out walking by myself or driving in a thunderstorm or any other situation where I need to be ready for just about anything to happen, but when these feelings carry over into everyday life and hinder me from living and being, it becomes a problem.
I can't always control my thoughts, but I've found that I can control how I respond. I mean literally, respond. By responding to these thoughts with definitive, affirming statements, I reset myself to a more balanced state of mind. Here is how I've found myself responding to anxious feelings and unpleasant thoughts:
I am just as good as the others.
My body can keep up with the proper adjustments and precautions.
This pandemic will not last forever.
I am talented enough to make my dreams come true.
There is nothing wrong with my blemishes and scars.
God is not punishing me for my mistakes.
I am well on my way to being fully realized in what I do.
I am doing my best with what I have been given.
I am not stupid.
I have people in heaven and on earth who care for me; I am never alone.
Though I feel anxious or unworthy or incapable at times, I know that this is in fact not true. When it comes to fact vs. feeling, only fact remains true. By responding with fact, I help reassure myself, reaffirm my being, reset my thinking. And if there's anything I could use right now, it's a major reset.
I just know for all the lies I tell myself, all the feelings that are false that swarm around in my head, there are plenty more truths that I know by heart. I know the truth; that's something even I can't take away from me.
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